When the Kids Head to College: Surviving the Empty Nest

Coffee and quiet

So, it finally happened. The kids are off to college, and suddenly, you’re standing in a house that echoes. If you listen closely, you’ll hear the distant sound of… absolute silence. For once, you can hear your own thoughts, but it doesn’t feel right. That’s exactly how I felt after my husband and I dropped our fourth and final child off to college just a few weeks ago! I have never had so much time to think in my entire life, but it feels weird.

The “empty nest” phase is real. One day you’re tripping over dirty socks and half-zipped backpacks, and the next you’re Googling “what’s for dinner when it’s just the two of us.” (Spoiler: sometimes it’s ice cream and popcorn. No judgment here.)

My favorite new hobby is Mahjong. I am addicted and have more time to play now!

Tips for Surviving and Thriving (With a Side of Laughter)

1. Plan something fun immediately -  like a trip, or, you know, a nap.
After dropping your kid off and trying to hide your tears from them, set yourself up for a win. Book a weekend getaway, visit friends you haven’t seen in a long time, or treat yourself to dinner out, one where nobody asks if you can Venmo them.

2. Reconnect with your spouse/partner (if you remember who they are).
Suddenly, you don’t have to coordinate the calendar around sports, music, or a parent meeting. Why not try a new hobby together, learn mahjong (I will teach you), or just have a conversation? Or for a totally different idea, let your partner/spouse try the hobby and you stay back and read a book! 

3. Rediscover your “pre-kid” hobbies (and maybe some new ones).
Remember hobbies? Turns out you still like things! Maybe it’s painting, hiking, cooking, or reality TV watching. I still love watching Project Runway and Survivor!

4. Give your house a glow-up
Turn that empty bedroom into a yoga studio, zen den, or at least a laundry-folding headquarters. Just remind yourself, it’s not a shrine, so resist the urge to follow what my parents did and keep all of my childhood dolls. My kids don’t want to stay in my childhood bedroom when we visit the grandparents because the dolls are scary! My trophies and high school momentos still line the shelves.

5. Check in with your college student
Keep in touch, of course, but let them experience freedom. They’ll call when laundry gets confusing or when they realize they don’t actually know how to boil water.

6. Rally your fellow empty nesters
Swap stories with friends who are in the same boat - preferably over adult beverages. Laughter is the best medicine, and you’ll be surprised how many ex-lunchbox packers miss goldfish crackers and glitter glue.

Embrace Your New Era

This new chapter is as much yours as it is your kid’s. Let yourself grieve, laugh, and do something on a whim. Take pride in raising an independent, almost-adult, and get excited for all the things you can do now, uninterrupted, and get ready for the calls when they don’t know their social security number!

Who knows? You might actually enjoy the sound of silence. Or, you could always get a puppy?